FIRST: Samy Vellu and lie detecting robotSangalimuthu was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Anggamah had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day Sangalimuthu came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was robot that Sangalimuthu claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Samy Vellu, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Samy Vellu was over 2 hours late.
"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked Sangalimuthu.
"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Samy Vellu. The robot then walked around the table and slapped Samy Vellu, knocking him completely out of his chair.
"Son," said Sangalimuthu, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school."
"Me, Palanivel, Subramaniam, Devamany and Saravanan went to Lingam's house and watched a movie." said Samy Vellu.
"What did you watch?" asked Anggamah.
"The Ten Commandments," answered Samy Vellu. The robot went around to Samy Vellu and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more.
With his lip quivering, Samy Vellu got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called 'Lusty Cheerleaders'."
"I am ashamed of you son," said Sangalimuthu. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents." The robot then walked around to Sangalimuthu and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
Anggamah doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Samy Vellu."
"After all, he is your son!". With that the robot immediately walked around to Anggamah and slapped her.
One day Sangalimuthu came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was robot that Sangalimuthu claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Samy Vellu, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Samy Vellu was over 2 hours late.
"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked Sangalimuthu.
"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Samy Vellu. The robot then walked around the table and slapped Samy Vellu, knocking him completely out of his chair.
"Son," said Sangalimuthu, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school."
"Me, Palanivel, Subramaniam, Devamany and Saravanan went to Lingam's house and watched a movie." said Samy Vellu.
"What did you watch?" asked Anggamah.
"The Ten Commandments," answered Samy Vellu. The robot went around to Samy Vellu and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more.
With his lip quivering, Samy Vellu got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called 'Lusty Cheerleaders'."
"I am ashamed of you son," said Sangalimuthu. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents." The robot then walked around to Sangalimuthu and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
Anggamah doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Samy Vellu."
"After all, he is your son!". With that the robot immediately walked around to Anggamah and slapped her.
SECOND: Real Samy Vellu (What I can say is Samy Vellu is a big-bad person).
An Indian man died and went to heaven. When he arrived at the heaven gate, Siva the God said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. You'll like it here."
Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks is everywhere. There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner. It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.
Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked, "God Siva, what's the deal? Why are all these clocks here in heaven?"
God Siva replied, "The clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person. Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute.''
"For instance, this clock is for VK Lingam, the lawyer. If you watch it closely, it will move."
'Click' The minute hand on VK Lingam's clock moved one minute.
'Click' It moved another minute.
"VK Lingam must be with some judges right now." said God Siva. The minute hand on his clock moves all day.
''Why the minute hand suddenly jumps three times?" ask the man.
God Siva smiles and said "He must have just said 'correct, correct, correct!'. I see it jumps like that quite often."
The man and God Siva continued walking. Soon, they came to a strange looking clock with some springs sticking out.
Siva said '"Oh! That is Aanwar Ibrahim's clock. During his trial, the clock span so fast and the springs came out eachtime he said "conspiracy, conspiracy. Now it is moving quite smoothly".
The man and God Siva continued their walk . They came to a clock with cobwebs on the minute hand.
"Whose clock is this?" asked the man.
"That clock belongs to the Lawyer Karpal Singh.. He is one of the finest, God-fearing, people on earth. I bet his clock hasn't moved in a year or two."
They continued walking and touring heaven. The man enjoyed watching the clocks of all his friends. When the tour was finished, the man said:
"I've seen everyone's clock but Mr Samy Vellu's. Where is his clock?"
God Siva smiled and said:
"Just look up. We use his clock as a ceiling fan. That's why it is so cooling here."
Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks is everywhere. There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner. It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.
Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked, "God Siva, what's the deal? Why are all these clocks here in heaven?"
God Siva replied, "The clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person. Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute.''
"For instance, this clock is for VK Lingam, the lawyer. If you watch it closely, it will move."
'Click' The minute hand on VK Lingam's clock moved one minute.
'Click' It moved another minute.
"VK Lingam must be with some judges right now." said God Siva. The minute hand on his clock moves all day.
''Why the minute hand suddenly jumps three times?" ask the man.
God Siva smiles and said "He must have just said 'correct, correct, correct!'. I see it jumps like that quite often."
The man and God Siva continued walking. Soon, they came to a strange looking clock with some springs sticking out.
Siva said '"Oh! That is Aanwar Ibrahim's clock. During his trial, the clock span so fast and the springs came out eachtime he said "conspiracy, conspiracy. Now it is moving quite smoothly".
The man and God Siva continued their walk . They came to a clock with cobwebs on the minute hand.
"Whose clock is this?" asked the man.
"That clock belongs to the Lawyer Karpal Singh.. He is one of the finest, God-fearing, people on earth. I bet his clock hasn't moved in a year or two."
They continued walking and touring heaven. The man enjoyed watching the clocks of all his friends. When the tour was finished, the man said:
"I've seen everyone's clock but Mr Samy Vellu's. Where is his clock?"
God Siva smiled and said:
"Just look up. We use his clock as a ceiling fan. That's why it is so cooling here."
REMINDER:
Any constructive criticism and comment that would contribute to fair, frank and informed discussion on this posting to help achieve our national objective will be most appreciated. We need to have more open exchange of ideas on this sensitive but important subject in the context of the national vision and security.
Any constructive criticism and comment that would contribute to fair, frank and informed discussion on this posting to help achieve our national objective will be most appreciated. We need to have more open exchange of ideas on this sensitive but important subject in the context of the national vision and security.
1 comment:
good one lebai...
Post a Comment